I’m not a control freak!

I’m very happy today.  I’m in control, but not in a control freak type of a way.

It’s more a feeling of confidence. Confident in my passion… my high standards… my authenticity… and how all this feeds into my vision.

But why the sudden skip in my step? And more importantly why should you care?  Bear with me, there is a link (especially if you can relate to having high standards yourself).

It started at my session with my business coach where I had one of those ‘A-ha’ moments. To be fair, my coach is amazing, so I do have these moments reasonably often.

But this one was different.

Having spent most of my life thinking that I was a control freak, I was delighted with the revelation that I’m not!  🎉🎉🎉

It’s interesting, how we put labels on ourselves.  We assume certain traits are inbuilt, inherited or part of who we are and just accept them.  For me, this is pretty unusual as I challenge most things (including parts of my own personality), and I’ve tried very hard to not be a ‘control freak’ for most of my adult life. But I’ve never quite been able to achieve this.

And, of course, I now realise why. It’s simply that I’m not willing to – I’m not willing to drop my standards.

So, in business, I won’t accept my clients receiving a less than top quality service, and at home, I wouldn’t dream of teaching my kids that it’s ok to pull the odd sickie or that it’s acceptable to be late. And there’s nothing wrong with not liking my décor scuffed or marked with chocolatey hands.  If it works for me, why shouldn’t I weigh myself daily or stick to my morning routine?  Or expect as high standards from my team as I do from myself?  Setting the bar high isn’t controlling, it’s just about setting expectations.

And what’s even more interesting to me is how these ‘labels’ get cemented over time by others. 

I’ve experienced it myself – from small comments such as “Nobody will notice if you leave it” and “Does it really matter?” through to bigger, more hurtful critiques of my standards and values such as “You need to let it go” and “ Nobody else has these perfectionist standards”.

Is it any wonder I’d started to think I was a ‘freak’?

So, as you can tell, I’m a bit excited about this new piece of information.  In fact, after my coaching session, I was bursting to tell the world.  I had a call with one of my team who simply said ‘I could’ve told you that you’re not a control freak Sarah. I used to work with one. You’re not even close. You just care.’

I just care. I’ve never thought about it like that before. 

And it’s interesting that many of our clients clearly care too! I’ve lost count of the number of clients who approach us to help with their business with a nervous laugh and the caveat that “I’m a bit of a control freak” or words to that effect.

And while they often seem a bit reluctant to share this, perhaps justifying it unnecessarily as “I like things doing just so,” I’m really keen to shatter this myth that it’s a negative character trait and something to be ashamed of.

Why on earth shouldn’t clients like things doing to a high standard? We love working with people who know what they want and expect the best. So if your VA company doesn’t understand, it might be time to switch to someone who does!